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Like every walk of life, everything changes, the funeral and the way We express our emotions at a time of loss are no exception. Removal and reposing overnight in a Church is slowly loosing ground and being replaced by the one day removal to the Church and Interment afterwards. Floral tributes are now almost always fresh flowers and donations in lieu are often requested for the favourite charity or organisation associated with great care given prior to death. The choice of music requested is ever expanding and more popular tunes, which remind us of certain moments or events and which help to bring out emotions. Audio tributes and photographs, are also among the changes seen. One of the old traditions however is still unchanged, the support and comfort given by large attendance and the great Irish favourite, story telling at the gathering around the deceased.
Families differ and my advice is always " please Yourself, do what You need to do, it's Your loved one" . Some will carry out events at different times, I believe it's a personal thing and my job is to meet with whoever has taken charge of arrangements, discuss with them requirements, leave them alone and arrange for events to happen as requested. I pride myself in doing just that, and if I walk away from a funeral service with a smile on my face, it is because I have served a family well, in ensuring every item was where it should be, when it should be.
Our Funeral home has expanded as the requests are greater on our services and I believe this to be Our greatest asset . Our Funeral Home is Our flagship and suitable to carry out the wishes of the local community we are privileged to serve. We have expanded our services to include facilities necessary for increased demand and expanded requests. This is making our position and respect in our community, to a higher level. People now call our Funeral Home at a time of death, it is generally the first call, and We respect the professionalism entrusted to us by this simple gesture, at an all time low, people trust that this call, will resolve and organise an otherwise traumatic situation, to a very special event, that marks both the passing and celebrates the life and achievements of someone very special to them.
As professionals we are entrusted to carry out the wishes and organise all the events associated with this special event. The way we handle each item, reflects on our reputation. The way in which private information, which we see, either in our travels or conversations, how we dress and handle people, situations and items, the comfort and cleanliness of our facilities, vehicles and equipment, everything is reflected upon, and time and time again, discussed in detail.
I'm requested time and time again to carry as I describe it, someone from the dusk, show them the darkness, let them see the sun rise and hope they can get from there themselves. Often described as " getting the deceased where they should be, and the bereaved where they need to be". This is what we are asked to do, I believe the saying that " everyone knows how to handle bereavement, except the bereaved" and I'm a firm believer that We are Funeral Directors, with loads of knowledge on how to handle funerals, People, Clergy, Hospital's, Coroner's, Florist's, Musicians and Grave-Diggers and this is the area we specialise in. However when meeting someone who has lost someone, it does not take major knowledge to know that kindness is a great comfort.
So do as You feel necessary, give what Your comfortable with, arrange music and flowers as You see fit, don't ask me what you want, tell me, and I will endeavour to the best of my ability to ensure this is what happens. My Own Dad, a Funeral Director himself, used to say " put me in a bag and leave me out with the rubbish" however when He passed away, this was not good enough for me or my family. We got what we were comfortable with, and had what helped us remember and celebrate one of the most wonderful people we ever had the privilege to know, and walked away from his grave-side, with dignity and pride.
Edward J.Grey,MBIE,MIAFD,Ma,Ra,Dip,Hd,Dip,Cm